Picking Your Poison
by Iori-chan-sempai
Summary: Mystery Pairing. After losing Yukianesa, Jin finds something and someone to take his mind off the withdrawal symptoms. Continuation is possible.


Jin doesn't know how to get over the initial nausea caused by Yukianesa's absence; he feels as feverish as the third day, when the symptoms were the worst. He hates that damn girl (she was so unfairly strong and had _laughed _at his attempts to injure her) who wrenched the blade from his hand effortlessly, looked at him with cool indifference as she said, "Can you live, Jin Kisaragi, without this blade?" before disappearing in such a way that he would have thought it a dream, had his Nox Nyctores not gone with her.

Even as he hates her, blames her for this terrible torment, a part of himself thanks her and says that he's so much better off without Yukianesa. That can't be true, however, because he doesn't even remember how to _think _anymore, not with emotions he hadn't even known about twisting around him-- emotions like fear; he remembers being free of fear with Yukianesa at his side.

To be sure, he wants to find his brother, catch him and never let go this time; he'll tell Ragna everything he wanted to know in exchange for never leaving him again, but he can't. Whenever he considers it, he's full of fear and doubt and self-consciousness, as something inside laughs at him and tells him that Ragna will never be able to take him back. Ragna had said it countless times that he would never be able to forgive him, and now, without Yukianesa's voice to quell these traitorous thoughts in his head, Jin can see the truth of those words.

He'd seen the reports, heard the word through the grapevine even as he sits in a bar-- it's unsettling, how vulnerable he feels without his uniform or Yukianesa (he certainly has a sword with him, but nothing as perfect and strong as his Nox Nyctores)-- that he is being hunted along with his ex-Lieutenant. No one in the bar ever mentions it, even though he isn't hiding; here, they seem to have a certain respect for those drowning themselves in alcohol, a respect he admires and appreciates.

Jin's on his fifth shot of vodka (eleven was the optimum number, that made everything in his head go quiet and let him pretend that he was as sane and balanced as he had been just two weeks ago) when someone, he sees it out of the corner of his eye, takes a seat at his right.

"How ya feeling?" she asks in her low voice. It's really quite calming to him, beautiful in certain ways, and it fixes him as much as the vodka does. Jin manages a grim smile and doesn't bear to look at her yet, only murmurs that he has six more to go. She nods and orders a beer; she doesn't wait on him or rush him, only sips at her drink, speaks with the bartender about good prices for parts or other information, and doesn't even look at Jin until he is ready.

He remembers the night they met, when he was scared and paranoid and utterly a mess, hugging his knees in an alleyway, eyes wide as he experienced emotional overload, cried, laughed, hated, loved all at once. She had looked at him with disgust, no doubt recognizing him as the man that was literally _the enemy _(he hadn't recognized her at the time, only looked up at her with fear and worry with that damn voice inside thinking,_ I wonder which one of her loved ones you've killed?_).

He had expected the worst, when she grabbed him by the wrist and pulled him along with her. The instinct to pull his blade and ram her through was so familiar that he had nearly done so, but somehow all he could do was chuckle helplessly when he realized that he had been utterly intimidated by a woman who was more than a foot shorter than him.

He was glad that he didn't react to that impulse, because she had sat him down inside of a bar, this bar, slammed a bottle of whiskey in front of him and ordered him to drink. He immediately started to down the bottle, when she pulled the bottle from his mouth. She glared at him, and poured the alcohol into a glass that Jin hadn't noticed and muttered, "From there, idiot. You trying to kill yourself?"

Jin laughed as he took the glass, watching as the woman poured herself some, and answered lightly, quietly, "Maybe."

After a few refills, he had looked up at her in surprise and gasped, "It's... quiet? What did you do?"

"Alcohol is lovely stuff, you know," was all she said in response, and that time when he looked at her, although he had been staring at her for at least an hour, finally realized who she was.

"Sector Seven?" he murmured, suddenly stiffening, and touching the hilt of his sword as he gazed at her with pure suspicion. She seemed to be taken by surprise, but didn't respond to his movement at all, something that made him relax a bit. If she wasn't worried about being maimed, he doubted that she had come to do anything ill or maybe she was just that confident.

"You didn't recognize me until now?" the woman-- Sector Seven's leader and head researcher, although her name had then escaped him-- frowned as she looked at him. She tapped her glass, five times, something Jin has since noticed she does when thinking, "How long have you been without it?"

Jin's eyes narrowed, but he didn't ask how she knew about it, "Five days."

"These few weeks should be the worst of it. The alcohol should help until your mind begins to right itself." She shook her head, looking down into her whiskey, "Nox Nyctores are pretty much this world's greatest steroid. It changes your brain chemistry completely, just like a drug."

"Fighting fire with fire then?" he held up his glass. She laughed, it was a sultry little chuckle, and clinked their glasses together.

Her name, he'd finally remembered as she turned to leave, was Kokonoe.

She reminded him so very much of Yukianesa that he had been almost certain that she was a figment of his imagination in order to save him, until she had came for him the next day, and the day after.

By now he's finished his tenth shot and she her first beer. Jin looks up at her, she feels his gaze immediately and meets his eyes. "Is it getting any better?" she asks, as she has every day in the past. It's gotten a little better, he tells her, and they talk about things that have little importance for hours.

"You're at sixteen days now, aren't you?" She taps her glass, and it makes Jin smile, "You should have another eight days before the severe pain and confusion goes away."

Jin wonders if in eight days, she'll go away as well.

"Kokonoe," he says after a moment, "Rather than one addiction in exchange, I think you've given me two."


End file.
